Category: Two Hours Fall 2019

Caitlin Miller

During my one hour of media, I continued with my normal behavior. During the hour I carried a bit more attention and awareness within me during the experience of introspective and analysis. I live my life in this mediated state. I wake up listening to music, the news, or a Youtube video while I shower and dress.  At least an hour before I sleep, I listen to and/or watch the news. Recently the partner I live has been away for weeks on vacation. Since, I’ve stopped with cable news and npr to keep myself updated.  I choose a nontraditional forms of media consumption, a podcast and Facebook. I listened to Sex with Emily on Spotify and used the Facebook on my phone, a fully immersive experience with modern tech. 

The podcast I listened to was an episode of man interviewed, who wrote a book about fantasies. He interviewed 400,000 people to catagorize the most common fantasies. I learned men prefer a particular person to focus on rather than how women fantasy more about a setting and specific experience. I read social and environmental oriented articles. Iceland has a law for women for have equal pay by 2022 (Evening Standard) , nestle taking water from Florida Springs (EcoWatch), Maine bans styrofoam (Eco Watch) and so. I realize I spent a lot of my free time listening to lectures or podcasts and reading articles.   

My time in nature made me feel a little anxious because I went my longest with out checking email, news, notifications, texts, replies, phone calls, or music with head phones. I brought my phone in my back pack to time the hour and waited to use my phone until the timer went off. I felt peaceful. I sat on the ground in Rock Creek Park. I took my socks and shoes off, leaving my bare feet on the ground. I stare at the trees, focused on breathing slower, and let go of the urge to check my phone. I recognized how much self-induced pressure I put on myself to get things done while simultaneously distracting myself into something with tech. I’ve know it’s health and necessary for each of us to give ourselves moments just to able to be fully present, free of to do list, self-critic, nose, and being surrounded by plants. The mind needs this to have a healthy level of well-being.  After what it felt like 15 minutes,  I wake by the creek for the rest of the hour. 

The most significant thing I took away from this analysis is how much media I consume all day long. When I wake up, drive, walk, and before I sleep, I have some form of a screen or speakers at use. I never allow myself to have total silence. My life is so immersed in consumed technology. I haven’t a day without it in at least a decade. It’s a somewhat gray and mildly dark feeling because I’m not sure it’s a positive or negative thing. I can imagine a life without and I don’t know which is better in terms of mental health and brain cognitions and function. The assignment has left me wondering what is too much to, should there be a limit, and would I be more productive with less of it? 

For this assignment, I decided to begin with my hour of media. I watched an episode of my current favorite show on Hulu, The Handmaids Tale. The episode was about an hour long, with a few commercial breaks. The commercials were focused mostly on labor day sales, which prompted the purchase of the new outdoor furniture currently sitting on my balcony. In addition to holiday sales, many of the ads were from insurance companies like Progressive, with another third of the ads representing phone companies like Verizon, T Mobile, and Cricket. 

     For my hour outdoors, I decided to organize a hike and trash clean up with some Brothers from my fraternity. We drove up to the Billy Goat Trail at 7am, and spent the morning hiking  through the woods collecting trash and picking paw paw fruits. We were on the trail for a few hours, and managed to remove about 6-8 bags of trash from the park. The information I received from this experience was mostly focused around the best way to get the paw paws down from the trees and learning which ones were ripe through trial and error.  

     The information I received during the media experience was almost exactly opposite the information I got from the hike. Instead of being bombarded with ads about insuracne,  and cell phone coverage, I spent my hour in the woods learning about the environemnt around me, which I enjoyed much more than learning about the sales around Fairfax. 

Zachary H.

Labor Day 2019

Nature:

On Labor Day, I decided to focus on finally finishing the setup for my new condo. For my nature hour, I merely spent time outside my condo planting and organizing my yard. Outside the front door, there is a walkway, and surrounding the walkway are the varieties of plants that have made the area their home. To the right, when exiting the home, is a patio with some chairs, a table, and some potted plants, namely a cactus, peace lily, snake plants, catnip, and cat grass. There is also a pot on the table that my roommates and I found half-buried in the property’s lawn, so my goal was to clean that and transplant the cat plants. 

As I was sitting, scrubbing away at the pot, I could hear children playing in the nearby pool. Also, there were some families cooking out in their small yards, yielding smells of charcoal and meats. It was hot out, around 28 degrees celsius, but there were occasional breezes, possibly coming from the storm that would approach later that evening. Sometimes a neighbor would walk past, so I gradually became more aware of neighbors whom I have not yet seen since moving in. Overtime, I could see the sky becoming overcast, hinting at the impending storm. I finally restored the pot and cleared it of all the cobwebs and dirt filled it with soil, and transplanted the plants. Right as I was finished, it started to drizzle, and I went back inside.

Media: 

As the rain started, I decided to start thinking about what final touches could be made for the house, so I went on my laptop to look into what I could do. At first, I looked at kitchen-ware. I learned that bamboo cutting boards are durable and recommended over plastic, but more expensive. I also learned the differences and uses for the knife set that was recently purchased for the house. Raising plants has become a small hobby of mine, so I looked up to find more plants that I could potentially buy for the house. I also looked for where some private nurseries are in the area because Lowe’s and Home Depot were quickly dropping in their gardening center stock as the weather starts turning over. After researching more plants and nurseries, I got up and left to go check out one of the nurseries closeby.

Enkhjin Gansukh

Its Labor day weekend and I dive into my usual routine of when I have free time. I’m at my computer with my phone on the desk nearby and I load up reddit on my computer. The top trending post I see, a mass shooting in Texas. “You could be saving hundreds a month” another repeat ad I scroll past. A news link to what to expect for hurricane Dorian. A headline starting with “Trump” which I don’t even bother to glance at. An amazing artwork one I couldn’t even dream of producing submitted by someone with the title “My little free time project”. A short gif of a puppy following a bigger dog to cuddle with. An ask reddit thread where strangers answer questions. I spend a few minutes reading a thread titled “What is the best thing that happened to you in truth or dare?”. Facebook messenger notification dings on my phone and my computer as my friends in Mongolia text me. I quickly learn all of Mongolia is on break due to Vladimir Putin visiting my home country. A sudden trailer for a new movie “Joker” interrupts my music that was playing on Youtube in the background that I was using to drown out the sound of construction. Another friend messages my through a video game client asking to play and I’m immersed in the game for the next 20 minutes to an hour with short uses of my phone in between during downtime in the game.

Its 4am in my hotel room in Vancouver. A short 2 day trip I had planned about a month ago. I had planned to take a hike to see the sunrise over the city of Vancouver. As I’m about to leave I remember an assignment, so I grab a pen and little notepad from the from desk reception and head out. The hike trail was recommended to me by a friend who is a Vancouver local. The trail is 3km or 1.8miles and about 3000ft upwards. It’s a bit chilly as a bit of fog settles on the mountain as I start to walk up and start my stopwatch. The 1^st few minutes quickly pass by as I warm up from the movement. I realize the absolute silence I am in, nothing but the sound of my footsteps and my breath. As I walk in further, as the light of almost dawn breaks in the sound of insects, birds, and small critters of sorts start to fill the area. I’m hallway up the mountain and I can see that I will soon be above the fog of the lower mountain. I encounter a squirrel on my path but it didn’t run away at the 1^st sight of me like the city squirrels I see and didn’t even seem the slightest bit phased as I walked past. As the sun comes up rays of warmth and light shine through the gaps in the trees, a comforting feeling as the dark of night is pushed out of the forest. The rest of the way up is quite the same and I only encounter 2 other people. I reach the top to see the sun just as it came up over the horizon. A view still well worth the hike. I check my stopwatch on my wrist and the time shows 1 hour 9 minutes and 41 seconds.

Reflecting back on these 2 experiences the biggest difference I see is the noise. Living in the city surrounded by social media most of the time I’m using other forms on noise to drown out other noises. As for my social media use it could definitely be turned down a good amount. I noticed that not every day there is “new” News. There isn’t a new crisis or big event everyday mostly just updated or a different angle to a story. I always try to go outside everyday even briefly and go to a park or a hike trail at least once a week. Being in nature gives your mind to relax, to take a break, to disconnect from all the noise. Time spent away from all the technology we have is almost like meditating, giving your mind a chance to filter out the unnecessary info. It’ kind of like cleaning your room. Your mind will get flooded with junk in this day and age we live in but time in nature is a way to clear out the unneeded.

Emily Bee

 I’m sitting on my bed watching Netflix, which is usually where you can find me if I’m not scrambling to finish an assignment or at work. The title sequence comes on “Supernatural”, my favorite show of course. As Sam and Dean Winchester are on the hunt again to figure out why the angels all fell from heaven and reverse it. I can’t help to always think what if all this is true and is actually happening in our world without anyone even noticing except a select few? Naa, I quickly snap back to them speaking to their friend and also an angel, Castiel, who has found more information on angels forming alliances to get back to heaven. Pause. My phone buzzes. It’s an Instagram notification saying I have a new follower so I might as well see who it is. A casual check then turns to a 15-minute scroll through my home page. Oh, an advertisement for a free pizza from “&pizza”, interesting. Everyone seems to be at the beach, lucky. I then realize I need to finish this episode before I start getting ready for work. Holy oil set on fire can trap an angel, hmmm interesting. My mind gets sucked back into the fantasy of mythical characters and trying to stop the end of the world.

       As I walk from my home down a busy road to the Winkler Botanical Preserve, I can’t help but always wonder who decided to put a large preserve smack in the middle of an apartment community? The entrance is hidden down a winding road and it wouldn’t be hard to believe that the community has completely forgotten about it. I walk in and it’s like I’ve entered into another world. There’s a large pond. I can see huge frogs popping their heads in and out the water to take a breath every few minutes. There’s also a strange looking bird, I’m not sure I’ve seen anything like it before but that’s the beauty of being in another world. I continue to walk further and further into the trees and come across a very old bridge, right beyond it is a group of fawn (three to be exact), staring blankly at me. I presume they haven’t had much human interaction since as I came closer, they stood their ground. I’m alone here, I haven’t seen one soul besides the wild animals and again I wonder if people even know this magical place exist. I continue on my stroll and come to a large hill, which I of course climb. As I reach the top, I see a little waterfall, its man-made but I guess it’s the thought that counts. After gawking at the mini engineering marvel, I see a sort of ropes course and my curiosity gets the best of me. I walk towards it wondering if the preserve staff ever use it for activities and camps but all I see are some old signs, so I assume not. There’s a little dirty body of water that I walk around for a few minutes. I can see this long stick perched at the mouth of the teeny tiny pond and them BAM! It strikes at a fish that was entering the water from the larger pond. I notice this is no stick but in fact a very big snake. As it swims toward me, I decide that it’s time to start heading home as my fight or flight instinct was sure to set in soon enough.

       Through this experience I really noticed how much more stimulating it is to spend time outdoors rather than inside. An hour walking through a nature preserve feels like a much longer time compared to an hour watching Netflix. I see how it is so easy for people to get sucked into the world of electronics and social media. Watching a show, I can pretend that I am in another world, but when going outside I can actually be in that other world and explore it. With just 15 minutes on social media, I felt tired of seeing everyone’s posts and all the advertisements. I can see how someone can get caught up and jealous of other people by just looking at their pages and wishing they were that person. Social media sets unrealistic standards that everyone wants to meet but no one can, besides the rich and famous. People can get so caught up with it that they just forget to go outside and just get some fresh air.

Michael Elliott

I started out my electronic immersion hour like I usually spend most of my evenings. I turned on my Apple TV, opened up Hulu and started watching one of my favorite shows. As time went by, my focus weaned from the television and towards my phone, a compulsion. I opened up Instagram and started scrolling through my feed. Pictures of attractive people, foreign lands, and friends doing exciting things. As I scroll through the photos of my friends and photos of people I admire. images would appear from people or organizations I didn’t know. the were mainly just sponsored advertisements for Marriott hotels or new cars or even bottled water. To be honest, it’s mainly just White Noise I look through, nothing substantial, or real achievements, honestly it’s mostly people taking selfies by a brick building and writing some quote about loving life. I didn’t receive any emotional gratification or fulfillment from it. At the end of my one hour electronic session I was left feeling just as empty as I was before.

For my outdoor immersion hour I decided to go kayaking on a local river with a friend. It started out being hot that day, but a breeze from the west brought in some darker clouds and a more constant breeze. It made it out for a fantastic day to be on the water. At first as we kayaked towards the middle of the river my friend and I exchanged normal conversation, nothing too shallow but nothing too deep, but the longer we spent out on the water the quieter we became. Not because we didn’t want to speak to each other, but because we were enjoying simply, nature. We both felt very connected and peaceful out on the water as we kayaked towards low cliffs and a nearby forest. To be honest with you, almost three hours went by and I hadn’t noticed. At the end of this engagement I felt more fulfilled and more balanced than I had felt during the electronic immersion. 

As I reflect back on both experiences I’ve come to the realization that in normal day-to-day life there is too much noise. The noise from the entertainment industry, the beauty industry, and just about every other industry is trying to blast you with information and trying to get your attention. There’s just so much information out there it’s hard to sift through it! On the other hand, nature isn’t sending you a direct message on your Instagram or blasting an ad on every electronic device you have, she’s always out there just waiting with an open invitation. This is why I believe spending time in nature without any distractions is so healing, because all the noise just fades away.

Chyna Law

After spending one hour of media consumption in a mediated environment, I feel the same as when I started because this is something that I frequently find myself doing. In between classes or just in general when there is a lapse in my schedule of not having to be at work, driving, or in class, I find myself on my phone. To different people this could either be a very negative thing or an acceptable way to pass the time. For this hour, I cycled through Twitter, Youtube, and Snapchat which are the media sources that I use most often. Through these sources I am able to observe the fraction of other people’s lives and content that they choose to share with the internet. I follow a few comedians on Twitter because I enjoy reading about the humorous and entertaining things that they post. On Youtube, I watch videos that summarize popular horror movies because it’s like getting to watch the movie but in a more condensed format with a funny host. And finally, I use Snapchat to communicate and have conversations with friends that I don’t get to see often. During this hour a close friend was updating me on a work meeting that she had to attend and that her manager was yelling at them.

The information that I received after spending an hour in naturalistic environment was much less than from observing media. I chose to walk around a trail in Providence Park then sit on a bench for the rest of the hour. Additionally, without any technology it was difficult to measure the time. Time seemed to move much more slowly when the only form of entertainment was my own thoughts. Maybe because this forested area is very close to the city and surrounded by a park, but there weren’t many animals present. The only information to observe was a building and a few signs without anything of much importance written on them. Some people were playing soccer in the open field area. Due to the relatively short trail, I walked a few laps to take up more time and on each lap everything stayed the same. Time seemed to move slowly and next time I would choose a more complex trail or bring a book to stay occupied.

After this experience I learned that I am very dependent on receiving information from my phone. I came to this conclusion because my hour of mediated entertainment went by quickly and I didn’t want it to be over. However, in a natural environment I felt just as comfortable but it just went by much slower likely because the external information received was much lower. I think in order to live a balanced life people should have a balance of both experiences. Experiencing high volumes of mediated information constantly can be negative because it doesn’t give the brain time to relax and form its own conclusions. Although not experiencing enough media can lead to a disconnect from the events occurring in the modern world. 

In order to successfully dedicate my attention and energy to a full hour of nature, I made it a goal to scout out an appealing hike in Shenandoah National Park, with the travel time of over an hour to ensure quality screen time with my device. The description below is of my journey to Dark Hollows Falls Trail. 

With my partner driving the car, the GPS was set to Dark Hollows Falls Trail, with an estimated trip duration of just short of two hours. The first hour is enough time for me to fully emerge myself in with the different ecosystems of social media applications. I begin with Twitter, as I click into “Trending Now For You”, yet another mass shooting has taken place in the United States, specifically in Texas, and the worlds responses are pouring in. Tweets about gun control and politics sparks controversy over American’s safety. I read on as Hurricane Dorian as killed at least five individuals in the Bahamas, staying stationary over the islands. But no need to worry, as Red Lobster has announced $15.99 all you can eat shrimp which has captivated the attention of seafood lovers all over the internet… some are more concerned with the company’s untimely marketing campaign in the midst of national tragedies. What’s really a tragedy is that Novak Djovokic was booed by spectators after retiring mid-match against Stan Wawrinka. According to followers, Djovokic has been battling a shoulder injury, but critics are quick to point out that if he was really that injured, he should have pulled out before the match. Bad look for Djovokic. But not as bad as the decision a Catholic School in Nashville, Tennessee made to ban Harry Potter Books from the shelves of its school library. The advice consulted from Exorcists highlights the “curses and spells” could potentially conjure up evil demonic spirits. I agree with @jessicahuseman, I hate it when my coffee cup suddenly turns into a mouse while reading Harry Potter. I stumbled upon wise words from @NICKIMINAJ as she lists out what a man who loves me would not do. Her empowering statements about helping women out of toxic, unhealthy relationships have followers open arms about sharing their stories about abusive relationships. I click over to my TimeLine and read through tweets specifically from the people I follow. As I’m scrolling its mostly football highlights, some baby pictures, fighting videos, and unfiltered thought chains from people speaking about their personal issues publicly. I’m bored now, so I double tap my home button of my iPhone into Facebook. I first click into “Marketplace” where I scroll through the junk other people are selling. Recently I’ve been searching for a rug. “Oh this one looks nice” and I send a message asking if its available. While I wait, I’ll head over to my Timeline, where the first ad I see is for make-up subscriptions and athletic wear. Regular. I scroll down until I find an interesting video. Stopping on a food video of course, It’s a Gordon Ramsey video of him cooking the perfect steak in a frying pan. Next video in-queue to play is another Gordon Ramsey video of him critiquing food from a reality cooking show. By this time we have made it into the National Park, so I have to “check in” my location on Facebook and show how outdoorsy I am. Popping into Instagram now to scroll some more.

Pulling into the parking lot of the trail head at the Dark Hollows Falls Trail in the Shenandoah National Park, my eyes are fixed on the amount of car on this busy Labor Day weekend. Upon parking, I gather our belongings and headed to the trunk of the car to grab the backpack. While getting situated, I look around at the various trees that are hugging the edges of the parking lot. The trail head is busy, with smiling faces of families and singles enjoying the day. People seemed to be comforted by the simplicity of the outdoors, and I grew more excited to get moving. The trail was moderately difficult hike, with a mostly down hill slope, taking us deeper towards our destination. The rocks scattering the trail were smooth, and the dirt was moist from a past rain. Less than a 1.5 mile hike, I took notice to the colors of the various tree leaves and contrasting pops of colors from other plants and flowers. It was buggy, with the sounds of passing insects filling the sound of the air. The trail was set into the ground, as moss and other vegetation grew to frame the border of where our human impact met the lush forest ecosystem. Getting closer, the trail took a drastic turn becoming quite steep. My mind became focused on the task at hand. Carefully moving down the wooden steps of the trail towards the Dark Hollows Falls, I become overwhelmed by the beauty of the moving water falling down the steep rocks. The pool below was clear, and I could see the bedrock and aquatic vegetation existing below me. I spent some time admiring the falls, thinking about amazing it is. I was tempted to take out my phone and snap a picture to share, but that was the exact point of this day… to enjoy my environment without the need for technology. I enjoy eating a packed sandwich and water, looking around at the amazing landscape. I am completely entertained by the liveliness around me. I look down at the pool, closing my eyes to listen. The running water is so relaxing, and I feel at peace. At this moment I could spend all day in this exact spot. But I must continue on. The trail leads past the Falls to begin the Rose River Loop Trail. I begin walk further down, taking time to try to find any display of wild animals. The trails are busy, and more people are headed back towards the parking lot. Deciding to turn back, the hike back up the steep slopes was rigorous, but the view coming back was even more enjoyable. I focused on finding points I missed before, looking for different plants or flowers. With distractions such as technology, it is clear that I would have missed opportunities to be mindful and enjoy living in the moment. 

To conclude this day, I spent my time in the car ride back engaging in a reflecting. I thought back to the emotions I felt during my time on social media… worried, disappointed, fearful… yet I was learning. I became caught up in gathering as much information as I could about anything I could, I wasn’t focused on anything at all. Becoming so accustom to reading headlines about tragedies, I spent more time reading about special food promotions than actual news. However, during my time hiking towards the falls, I spent time giving attention to my natural environment. Learning about the intricacies of the ecosystems above and below the water’s surface. I was able to slow down in my period of relaxation, to appreciate the nothingness in my mind. I was content with just exploring the falling water with my eyes and pondering questions of my own. Although Twitter and Facebook are distractions to me, I have to give credit to the level of connectivity. I’m up to date with news yet influenced by other’s comments. When I was in nature, I was not connected to anything accept my natural environment, which if I can be honest, was very refreshing. These two contrasting experiences have left me with a goal of becoming more balanced. By learning how to use my device to access information with a purpose, I will eliminate the other time spent reading/watching purposeless posts. Additionally, I need to be more mindful about adopting time in my day to enjoy the outdoors and bring my focus down to an environment. I am more encouraged to seek out this time media free, to bring more relaxation and personal meditation and reflection into my life. 

Shannon Cabral

For this assignment I chose to consume one hour of social media, in particular, Twitter. In the past year I have tried to dramatically cut down on my social media usage, so at first I thought it might be challenging to scroll mindlessly through Twitter for an hour, however I was wrong. At first all I seemed to notice was funny things my friends had retweeted, a couple comments about the upcoming college football season and bunch of ads for Grubhub. But once I shifted from my traditional feed to what was trending on Twitter I suddenly encountered a lot of current political events. The most glaring one was news about the Texas mass shooting that had happened that day. There were thousands of posts from news programs, politicians, as well as concerned citizens, all providing their take on what had gone on in Odessa that day. I spent easily twenty to thirty minutes of the hour learning about the details of the shooting and reading through responses to it. So, in my hour I gathered information about a mass shooting, whose predicted to win college football (according to my highly underqualified and bias friends) and that I could get free delivery on my first Grubhub order.   

            For my second hour I spent it outside in my friend Paige’s hammock, and she joined me after I had spent an hour alone. I brought with me a journal to write down all the information I received, because I didn’t want to forgot it but I also didn’t want to have to use my phone. The first thing I noticed was the number of sounds around me. This was something I would do at the summer camps I used to teach, I would make all the kids be silent for one minute and have them count on their fingers how many sounds they heard. I thought it would be interesting for me to do, so I counted a number of insects I could hear, winds rustling leaves, a low flying airplane and the creak of the hammock. In total I noticed seventeen sounds, all of which I never typically would have noticed. Other information I received had to do with the weather, I could see a couple clouds rolling in and the temperature dropped slightly within my hour, hinting towards nighttime coming.  Overall in my hour outside I really just became more self-aware and more aware of my surroundings. Little things like ants climbing the tree my hammock was secured to, or the group of ducks hanging out in the pond are all things I usually pay no attention to, but without any type of distraction they became very obvious. 

            In both my experiences I feel like I left more knowledgeable than when I went in. After my hour on Twitter it really became apparent to me that social media is the main way I receive news, which is bizarre because it’s so condensed and any one is able to comment on what is going on regardless if they are qualified. It also struck me as weird that I would say I use Twitter as a distraction, yet I also use it to stay up to date on all my news. While my hour outside made me realize how oblivious I usually am when I am outdoors. I rarely am by myself outside unless I am walking to class and even than there are hundreds of other students walking around me too. It made me want to seek out more time outside without media, and I hope I make the time more often to do it.  

Olivia Degregory

Online:

On my laptop, I refresh my twitter feed repeatedly. 6pm update: Category Five Hurricane Dorian has stopped moving over the island of Grand Bahama. Winds speeds over two hundred miles per hour. Live updates confirm this is the strongest hurricane to ever impact the Northern Bahamian islands. I retweet everything relevant to the storm. I memorize the names in each missing person post; I share the list of working phone numbers for rescue teams; I scroll past the videos of dead bodies floating in the surge waters. I open my phone; I refresh my apps repeatedly. I open my chat with my best friend, I haven’t heard from her in hours – the last thing she told me was that she was hopping a fence with her two-year-old baby and going to a neighbour’s house because hers began to flood. I message her again. I open my family chat, I ask my family if they are okay. They tell me to stop worrying. I refresh my twitter feed. Families are trapped in their attics. An American woman tweets that she is worried her cruise next month will be cancelled. A seven-year-old has drowned in the storm. The water is up to the second-floor people’s homes. I feel sick.

Outside:

I lay outside on the sliver of lawn beside my house. I have laid out an old comforter and arranged myself so that I am not laying on any rocks or roots, yet still have shade from the trees. I glare at the clear sky. I hate it. I hate that the sun is out, I hate that the sky is blue, I hate how gently the clouds move and how sweetly the birds sing. How dare the day be so beautiful here in Virginia, when my family only knows rain and darkness in The Bahamas? I close my eyes to hide the painful beauty of the day. I’m supposed to be relaxing. I always find it relaxing outside, I do it as quality-time, as self-care. Right now, I loathe it. The trees rustle gently but my mind echoes with the howls of the two hundred mile per hours winds. A car passes and I see the images of cars floating around collapsed buildings. A neighbour and her child pass by, and I pray the child knows how to swim. I’m crying. I feel useless. I can’t enjoy the sun, I can’t enjoy the trees, I cannot be present here under this tree when my heart aches on an island far away.

Reflection:

Well, I must say this isn’t the same post I would have written had this assignment been done two weeks ago or even two weeks from now. At this moment my country is devastated, and it is truly the only thing on my mind. I can barely function. I think the hardest part about this was the conflicting feelings I felt during both hours. I knew I should have stayed off of social media because it was flooded with heart-breaking posts, but I also feel the need to know every update there was to know. I had to repost every missing person post, I had to share every rescue hotline number – yet still, the longer I spent online the sicker with grief I became. As for my experience outside, it was the absolute opposite of what I typically feel when I go outside. I love being outdoors, not really doing anything but taking in the surroundings; but I had to force myself away from my laptop to do it. The whole hour I just wanted to give up and go check my phone. I tried to remind myself that I should enjoy the luxury of good weather, but it just felt like a betrayal to enjoy it.